The Subconscious Lottery
Folks often ask what my inspiration
for writing is… This is my story.
When I was younger my adventures came from physical wagers. Being older and wiser converts those chances to conversations. Exploring the why behind every step. Imagine considering collateral damage ahead of time. That’s how life is today. Overthinking and underacting. I equate consciously ignoring the ability to think ahead with the selfishness of obesity.
We know better as time goes on. Born with the essence of aptitude. I’ve never been shy about trying and failing. From the physical to the spiritual. Bad humor, no problem. A closet full of decency. Presentation coupled with the misadventures bring out the charm. There’s a vault of unearthed embarrassment.
As result of this journey my mind has a unique blend of ingredients. However, the process for selection is intricate. When I’m asking questions out loud, I’m placing your answer in a Chinese finger trap. I have described my mental pathways like those of a thesaurus. A word has relationships through adjectives, culture, phonetics, and the elusive creative definition given to it.
Tickets are free and this lottery has a win for everyone. Especially myself. I’ve referred to myself as a wordsmith. Because the name Smith is most common and seems less extraordinary. Also, because what I do with the language is unique; creating dexterity.
These are my tools. I love the process of writing long-winded messages about stability and structure for my website. This is a personal place of Zen. Where I design shorter articles for the modern attention span. Rarely more than a couple pages. The ideas could be consolidated into a half dozen bullet points. Yet, methodically I describe them with landscapes.
Feelings are important. Though people like to see things in action, everyone can feel. Appealing to the senses brings out the best of language. Written or spoken makes no difference. Our creativity brings the missing elements. The words aren’t acted out with mannerisms. Left unspoken, where the sound is up to our imagination.
My recipe is fueled by the missing. Opportunities to use something in a way I haven’t experienced before. When I am asked where I heard something, “where did you get that?” I implore you, practically beg you to try and find some version of what I had to say. Use the latest search engine. Write it down and let time go by.
When I was younger my adventures came from physical wagers. Being older and wiser converts those chances to conversations. Exploring the why behind every step. Imagine considering collateral damage ahead of time. That’s how life is today. Overthinking and underacting. I equate consciously ignoring the ability to think ahead with the selfishness of obesity.
We know better as time goes on. Born with the essence of aptitude. I’ve never been shy about trying and failing. From the physical to the spiritual. Bad humor, no problem. A closet full of decency. Presentation coupled with the misadventures bring out the charm. There’s a vault of unearthed embarrassment.
As result of this journey my mind has a unique blend of ingredients. However, the process for selection is intricate. When I’m asking questions out loud, I’m placing your answer in a Chinese finger trap. I have described my mental pathways like those of a thesaurus. A word has relationships through adjectives, culture, phonetics, and the elusive creative definition given to it.
Tickets are free and this lottery has a win for everyone. Especially myself. I’ve referred to myself as a wordsmith. Because the name Smith is most common and seems less extraordinary. Also, because what I do with the language is unique; creating dexterity.
These are my tools. I love the process of writing long-winded messages about stability and structure for my website. This is a personal place of Zen. Where I design shorter articles for the modern attention span. Rarely more than a couple pages. The ideas could be consolidated into a half dozen bullet points. Yet, methodically I describe them with landscapes.
Feelings are important. Though people like to see things in action, everyone can feel. Appealing to the senses brings out the best of language. Written or spoken makes no difference. Our creativity brings the missing elements. The words aren’t acted out with mannerisms. Left unspoken, where the sound is up to our imagination.
My recipe is fueled by the missing. Opportunities to use something in a way I haven’t experienced before. When I am asked where I heard something, “where did you get that?” I implore you, practically beg you to try and find some version of what I had to say. Use the latest search engine. Write it down and let time go by.
Revisit that note to see if you
ever hear anything like it. The chance to assemble my idea and give you the result
is my Powerball. Not everyone will find the connection. I know it. In a selfish
way that’s what really matters to me…
I would love for everyone to be able to conceptualize what we share with each other. Ideas big and small that are clearly communicated. But we are not equal. And in a very easy to understand way, our imaginations are unique. The way words can relate is a science.
Like any scientific or mathematic equation, format is the key. There’s no 3+3=9. Because… hey, you know what I mean? I don’t. In order for you to make that happen you must multiply. That’s not a plus, it’s an “*” or and “x.” In between is a plus sign doing cartwheels. Which doesn’t mean anyone is a math Nazi. We have an agreed upon language.
When there’s something wicked about my outrageous presentation, I am waiting for you to call bullshit. There’s no greater satisfaction I have that to love the people closest to me. Second is knowing where the truth lies and crafting something just plausible enough to see if you can solve the maze. Of course, I love witty banter and fruitful discussion. There’s integrity and sharing your soul. Pouring your heart into social exchanges about politics, religion, family, and beyond.
My belief and creed are to spend time where you find hope. Oddly enough, part of being embarrassed and wrong comes with developing something that cannot be understood. Choosing either the wrong formula or audience. There is a catch to that. I’m able to take that concept in front of other folks and try or to simply learn from the failed experiment.
When I started this article, it came from a conversation I had with Anthony. Congratulations, I believe you’re the first person mentioned by name on my website. Again, I can be wrong. But he was flattering me with a color commentary about my verbal judo. Saying the best part of anything I put together is near the end. When I neatly tie it all up in some unexpected and simple way.
I would love for everyone to be able to conceptualize what we share with each other. Ideas big and small that are clearly communicated. But we are not equal. And in a very easy to understand way, our imaginations are unique. The way words can relate is a science.
Like any scientific or mathematic equation, format is the key. There’s no 3+3=9. Because… hey, you know what I mean? I don’t. In order for you to make that happen you must multiply. That’s not a plus, it’s an “*” or and “x.” In between is a plus sign doing cartwheels. Which doesn’t mean anyone is a math Nazi. We have an agreed upon language.
When there’s something wicked about my outrageous presentation, I am waiting for you to call bullshit. There’s no greater satisfaction I have that to love the people closest to me. Second is knowing where the truth lies and crafting something just plausible enough to see if you can solve the maze. Of course, I love witty banter and fruitful discussion. There’s integrity and sharing your soul. Pouring your heart into social exchanges about politics, religion, family, and beyond.
My belief and creed are to spend time where you find hope. Oddly enough, part of being embarrassed and wrong comes with developing something that cannot be understood. Choosing either the wrong formula or audience. There is a catch to that. I’m able to take that concept in front of other folks and try or to simply learn from the failed experiment.
When I started this article, it came from a conversation I had with Anthony. Congratulations, I believe you’re the first person mentioned by name on my website. Again, I can be wrong. But he was flattering me with a color commentary about my verbal judo. Saying the best part of anything I put together is near the end. When I neatly tie it all up in some unexpected and simple way.
I relate that to a story in
Rambo III. Colonel Samuel Troutman talks about a sculptor praised for his work,
chipping away at this massive stone. The work created a great statue. In the story,
the sculptor said, “The statue was always there. He just cleared away the small
pieces.” The Colonel telling the story then says, “You’re always going to be
tearing away at yourself, until you come to terms with what you really are.
Until you come full circle.”
My reply to Mr. Fuentes was
unplanned. I was stretching in the floor and left a voice recording through
Facebook Messenger. I said to him that I begin my messages with a thought, not
knowing the end. The time restriction and cadence bring my creativity out… I don’t
know what I am going to say. I told him, “My subconscious is like the lottery.”
Here I am, three single-spaced pages into describing the parameters of my random and sometimes beautiful musings. I could have bullet-pointed these things. Saying, I take words and relate ideas to one another; I use their sound; I use the culture around the word; I use the definition; I present them with the essence of truth.
Honesty is part of what I do. I want people to either relate and grow or see through the veil. I describe truth as what someone believes until they have better information. Giving you a way to see through my presentation of a lie is finding the truth. We do not always read and comprehend. Sometimes we need to see the what-not-to-do. I’ve let my past be an example in so many cases. I am thankful to be here today.
You can always ask. I shall not present something fabricated and follow it with a backup fertilizer. My duty is to share what I have seen. Doing it with colorful language. Sometimes I will not relate to you, perhaps even bore you. That too can be taken as something no one should duplicate in the future. Even what might be considered wasting time is a win for those who value truth and experience. ‘Something Fresh’ as this blue-eyed man might describe it. Be sure to get a feel before you bite. The fruit bowl perhaps only for decoration…
As this aging man gets crafty, things become harder to tell apart. The lessons carry more weight. Interconnected ideas dressed in the Emperor’s Clothes. However, the best ones are when you know it can’t be that deep… sensing nonsense. Only to find yourself struggling to take the dive. The most valuable treasures rest beneath.
Exploring shipwrecks and the unseen, unknown, life closest to our planet’s core. Like my ideas these places are unnatural and fascinating to visit. We may not have ever imagined that they existed. Perhaps that descriptions of them are purely fictional. But, in our subconscious we should always be asking, ‘what if.”
Do it for yourself, perhaps for people you love. The things you can discover about yourself and the ways other folks see you will change. That is a risk. A big one. What If you fail…? But what if you succeed.
Here I am, three single-spaced pages into describing the parameters of my random and sometimes beautiful musings. I could have bullet-pointed these things. Saying, I take words and relate ideas to one another; I use their sound; I use the culture around the word; I use the definition; I present them with the essence of truth.
Honesty is part of what I do. I want people to either relate and grow or see through the veil. I describe truth as what someone believes until they have better information. Giving you a way to see through my presentation of a lie is finding the truth. We do not always read and comprehend. Sometimes we need to see the what-not-to-do. I’ve let my past be an example in so many cases. I am thankful to be here today.
You can always ask. I shall not present something fabricated and follow it with a backup fertilizer. My duty is to share what I have seen. Doing it with colorful language. Sometimes I will not relate to you, perhaps even bore you. That too can be taken as something no one should duplicate in the future. Even what might be considered wasting time is a win for those who value truth and experience. ‘Something Fresh’ as this blue-eyed man might describe it. Be sure to get a feel before you bite. The fruit bowl perhaps only for decoration…
As this aging man gets crafty, things become harder to tell apart. The lessons carry more weight. Interconnected ideas dressed in the Emperor’s Clothes. However, the best ones are when you know it can’t be that deep… sensing nonsense. Only to find yourself struggling to take the dive. The most valuable treasures rest beneath.
Exploring shipwrecks and the unseen, unknown, life closest to our planet’s core. Like my ideas these places are unnatural and fascinating to visit. We may not have ever imagined that they existed. Perhaps that descriptions of them are purely fictional. But, in our subconscious we should always be asking, ‘what if.”
Do it for yourself, perhaps for people you love. The things you can discover about yourself and the ways other folks see you will change. That is a risk. A big one. What If you fail…? But what if you succeed.
My writing is a record of these
adventures. Partly to share things that have already happened. Often because I
have an idea and I need to take an odyssey. Thank you to anyone who’s spending
their time with me. I can’t do it without you.
